求英语大神们帮忙修改我的英语作文由于曾经悬赏100分没人回答,故先给少一些,过后见答案,随时可以加分以下是我30分钟写的英语作文,错漏百出但实属无奈,英语那叫一个水,望大神们帮忙修

求英语大神们帮忙修改我的英语作文由于曾经悬赏100分没人回答,故先给少一些,过后见答案,随时可以加分以下是我30分钟写的英语作文,错漏百出但实属无奈,英语那叫一个水,望大神们帮忙修
求英语大神们帮忙修改我的英语作文
由于曾经悬赏100分没人回答,故先给少一些,过后见答案,随时可以加分
以下是我30分钟写的英语作文,错漏百出但实属无奈,英语那叫一个水,望大神们帮忙修改,百般感谢!
（中文部分是自的思路,但无法用英文正确描述,供大神们在修改时作参照）
The question that the retirement age wether should be raised is allways title on the news paper.You may be lookover it but the question will come to you when you will retire tomorrow.
Partical of us are making plauses to raised the retirement age.Woking longer is their dreamwork and it will make them practical.They will be impractical if it is nothing to do on one day.
But the opsite opinion is still there.It is not need to raised the retirement age.People should receive the truth that they are so old to complete the work.And it is time to please theirselves without work.
So it is hard to deal with.I can't follow these two opinion.The cases are varily and no the beter way to let everyone promise.Retirement age may be raised if the work is physical and not good to one's body.It can fit to practical work.
是否应该提高退休年龄这一问题常常见于报端.你今天也许会忽略它,但是退休时它就是你遇到的问题.
如若提高退休年龄,我们当中的一部分人会为之鼓掌.能延长工作年限是他们的梦想,且能让他们感到踏实.如若某一天没有工作,他们就会觉得空虚.
但是持相反观点的人还是有的.他们觉得提高退休年龄没有必要.人们必须接受身体衰老而不能继续胜任工作这一事实.而且是时候在没有工作的困扰下享受生活了.
所以很难去处理这一问题.我也不苟同于上述两个观点.由于情况很多很难找到满足个人的需求的方法.如若是较繁重的体力型工作或对身体有损害的工作,建议适当缩短退休年龄.这样可以适应实际情况.

求英语大神们帮忙修改我的英语作文由于曾经悬赏100分没人回答,故先给少一些,过后见答案,随时可以加分以下是我30分钟写的英语作文,错漏百出但实属无奈,英语那叫一个水,望大神们帮忙修
The question whether the age of retirement should be raised is always printed on the newspaper.You may be neglect it today, but you will meet this question when you retired.
If the age of retirement is raised, someone among us will applaud. It is dreams of them to extend the working life and it can make them feel at ease. If someday they lost their jobs, they would feel empty.
But the opsite opinion is still there. They think it is unnecessary to raised the age of retirement. People should receive the fact that they are not able to complete the work when they are old. And it is time to enjoy their lifes without work.
So it is hard to deal with this question.I can't agree with the following two opinions. The cases are varily and we can't find a better way to satisfy for all. I suggest that age of retirement had better be raised if the work is physical and harmful to person's body.This way is suitable to the practical situation.
几乎给你全部重写了一遍,注意几个问题
1.第1段第1句,定语从句的结构一定要弄清楚,你比较乱.
2.第2段最后一句要用虚拟语气.
3.第3段第2句你的写法是不对的,即使是那样写也得用too..to..（虽说也无法用在这句中,但至少意思对）.
4.第4段第1句你漏了最后的宾语,后面opinion漏了s,其他细节也有些问题,建议多看看语法~