statement of finacial support帮忙修改一下 With the rapid development of the world’s science and technology,all-around graduates are in great needs.It is all known that the science and education in your country has advantage over that in our c

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statement of finacial support帮忙修改一下 With the rapid development of the world’s science and technology,all-around graduates are in great needs.It is all known that the science and education in your country has advantage over that in our c

statement of finacial support帮忙修改一下 With the rapid development of the world’s science and technology,all-around graduates are in great needs.It is all known that the science and education in your country has advantage over that in our c
statement of finacial support帮忙修改一下
With the rapid development of the world’s science and technology,all-around graduates are in great needs.
It is all known that the science and education in your country has advantage over that in our country.
As the applicant’s father,in order to give a better foundation to my daughter,I respect her overseas studies very much.
I will be glad to see my daughter finish her study with outstanding achievement.
I certify that I will be responsible for all expenses while my daughter GaoQin is studying in your country.
I will cover all expenses including her living,medical and tuition expenses.
I will also be responsible for her travel expenses when she returns home from your country after she completes the study program.
in great needs有没有用错?It is all known that 会不会有点不适合?the science and education 应该用have、还是has?

statement of finacial support帮忙修改一下 With the rapid development of the world’s science and technology,all-around graduates are in great needs.It is all known that the science and education in your country has advantage over that in our c
虽然看起来有点崇洋媚外,不过你写的不错.几个小地方.
As the applicant's father, in order to give my daughter a better foundation, I respect her choice of studying overseas ver much. I will glad to see my daughter finishing her study with outstanding achievement.
I certify 改成 I confirm
别的没有了.

写的很好呀,哪里要改呢?

整体感觉不是很通顺,个别地方欠斟酌~